at the end of 2009

it is new year's eve night. i am having a quiet, candlelit night at home. perfect.

i remember last year's new year's eve. i traveled to my parents' home (which was not the original plan for the night) and got motion sick on the way as a migraine erupted. i was in bed by 8:30 p.m. i woke in the early morning hours of 2009 with visions of change in this new year. i saw that there was to be an ending in july and the loss, death, of a mother in 2009.

so it was that i left my work of five and a half years and my home in the city of brotherly and sisterly love at the end of july and on august 1 i moved north. and so it was, too, that in the early days of 2009 my godmother was suddenly diagnosed with a brain tumor and a few days after thanksgiving she died.

tonight i am thinking about:

• the loves in my life and their aches, victories, worries and creations in 2009. i want to tell them, you: everything will be okay, every thing, i promise. i do not know how or when, i just know that it will be. i am holding you in light.
• my word for the new year: bliss.
• putting together a new volume of tunes inspiring me.
• my deep heart desire to create life, love, family and home with another.
• gratitude for three wide open days to gently welcome and enter the new year, the bliss year, prior to beginning a new work adventure on monday, the 4th. these will be days full of daydreaming and planning.
• entering a period of hibernation.
• ab's january visit.
• s. giving birth in late may/early june.
• traveling to nyc in june.
• strengthening my body.
• healing and transforming an essential relationship in my life.
• launching the website for my practice in early '10.
• what will my life look like on december 31, 2010?