Saturday, December 1, 2007

open doors

i've been thinking a lot about advent calendars lately. i've been thinking about their structure; specifically, the structure of the paper kind. each day for 25 days (between dec. 1 - dec. 25) one opens a little door and behind the door what is hidden (word(s) and/or an image) is revealed. this is how i would like to journey these 25 days, opening the little doors and drawers of gem, allowing what is tucked away, in the dark and/or hidden to be seen, held, lit up, honored and celebrated. i look forward to sharing what's behind the open doors here, in this color-full, inviting and soft space.

and, you? care to open some doors or drawers of yours? if so, let me know what you find. happy opening & revealing!

open door...
earlier this week i had (to use some words i learned from superhero andrea scher) a "mondo beyondo" breakthrough in understanding something that i've held for so very long, as well as its impact. somewhere in my being/space i held some ideas about myself that go like this: there's something wrong with me; i'm doing "it" wrong (whatever "it" is at the time & it could be the simplest thing, anything & everything); i'm lacking in some fundamental way; i'm not okay; i should be doing something other than what i'm doing. and, here's where i break my own heart & what's underneath all of the layers i've already named: i should be being some other way.

thank-fully, i sat with a dear, healing soul and processed some of this. at one point ("the" point!), while looking down and rubbing my forehead with my hand, the tears came. i could feel the tightness in my head and i knew that what was coming next was my truth and my freedom. i paused and inquired, "what if i just let myself be?" and, the tightness broke. all of the holding. so much holding.

how 'bout it?! what if i let myself be exactly as i am right now. live my life as i'm living it. claim it and own it and inhabit it and celebrate it. and, know it as perfection. the perfection of my creation. this is my deepest wish for all of creation: may we all live the fullest expression of our divine creation.

1 comment:

bella said...

This is magnificent.
May you know yourself as ok just as you are. May you inhabit your life fully and with freedom.
You have breathed some life into my gray day.
love to you.