reindeer and snowflake

i heart...

what is this arrow pointing to? what do you heart?

today, i heart:

• walking through my new england geography, knowing how very lucky i am to live where i live and how grateful i am to have leapt north.
• adorning my room with clear twinkle lights.
• oatmeal with brown sugar, raisins, shredded coconut, walnuts, nutmeg and almond milk.
• I Like You.
• wearing my "Loved In All Things" necklace by Jan.

a chant of sorts for this season

i have been feeling (a lot of) anxious lately. off. stuck. worried. heavy. in the dark.

i am noticing how these feelings show up, what they look like, in my thoughts and in my ways of being in the world. frustration. irritability. social awkwardness. self consciousness. shame. incessant thinking about the past or the future and missing the present entirely.

it's been a rugged time.

i am listening for guidance. increasingly. desperately. something to hold on to, something to step up to.

i am receiving the hints and whispers.

these words stringing together a chant of sorts: diligence. activism. wakefulness. new, as a way of being. d.a.w.n.

i imagine this d.a.w.n. chant as a string of twinkle lights. marking where home is and how to get back to it. where the magic is. where hope, possibility and promise reside. yes, where the dawn is.

this intersects perfectly ~ divinely ~ with the arrival, today, of a season i deeply cherish.

the season of advent.

advent is a season of preparation and waiting.

it is an intentionally holy time for me.

i honor the dark and the light.

i celebrate quiet, fulfillment, vision and vitality.

i embrace birth and winter's arrival.

in upcoming days and weeks, i will bring the whole of this here. my path of embodying the d.a.w.n. and living advent. i will document what is inspiring me this season.

today's inspirations:

• the Holiday Light Show at Macy's Center City. i saw this show for the first time over 30 years ago, when the store was called John Wanamaker's. John Wanamaker's is considered the first department store in philadelphia and my maternal grandmother worked there for 30 years beginning in 1954. being there always makes me feel connected to her.
• The Comcast Holiday Spectacular in 3-D. sitting on a bench in between my momma and poppa. all of us gathered for the 5:00 p.m. show ~ young and old, girls/women and boys/men, city dwellers and visitors ~ wearing 3-D glasses and looking up.
• "Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• sipping my first hot cocoa with whipped cream mug of the season. tonight, while writing this post.

what i'm up to...

knitting every day.
preparing & sending out love mail.
out to lunch with friends, including two of bella's beloveds.
completed my latest volume of in tune tunes, made up of songs i collected-songs that spoke to me & for me-while journeying through recent days, weeks & months.
making & eating popcorn.
looking at the full moon.
having a snow day.
strengthening & healing my body. going to the gym & receiving bodywork.
scheduling phone dates with soul*sisters.
attended an urban priestess ritual.
planning a spring equinox ritual.
read one of the best posts ever.
dancing to this tune and this tune.
planning adventures for march & april: visits from friends; a trip to nyc; a trip to boston; and a spring equinox ritual.
looking forward to upcoming february festivities: a trip to virginia to visit two beloveds; a day of retreat; and tea, lunch & movie dates.
softening in the sunshine of warmer days.
daydreaming about the future i am creating.
put my Netflix account on hold. i may cancel it. we'll see. i'm leaning in the direction of canceling.
signed up for a free teleseminar with Christine Kane.
taking pictures every day. including this one:

this morning

i woke after a rest-full night sleep.
a night of
uninterrupted,
unbroken
sleep.

grateful.

as i turned toward my big window
i hoped to see
through
this lens
snow
falling.

expectant.

my hope for snow was wider than usual, i realized.
this greater hope
due to the cancellation of today's special day of retreat.
canceled because of this talk of snow.
this snow talk.

no snow falling.
had it snowed and stopped?
or,
paused?

i scanned the rooftops first.
no snow there.
snow on the ground?
no.

will it snow?
i don't know.

there may be rain.

still,
this morning
i am moving in the quiet,
soft
and
graceful ways
snow
invites me,
calls me.

crawling back into bed for a bit longer.
turning up the heat.
rolling out my yoga mat.
raising my arms.
welcoming this day
as it
is,
as it
unfolds.

yes.

retreating once more to my bed.
this time
sitting
cross legged
facing the window
and
reading aloud
the beginning pages
(and pages)
of
John O'Donohue's book,
To Bless the Space Between Us.

these are
my morning prayers.

from "Matins":

"In the name of Silence
Womb of the Word,
In the name of Stillness
Home of Belonging,
In the name of the Solitude
Of the Soul and the Earth.

I arise today."

from "A Morning Offering":

"May I have the courage today
To live the life that I would love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no more."

from "For A New Beginning"
[yasmine, i thought of you & your word, unfurl, when i read these words...]:

"Though your destination is not year clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire."

wishing radiant you* a gently courageous day...

**
a reminder: leave a comment here to enter to win a give*away, an extra*special gem parcel.

fare thee well 2008

i have been spending time re*viewing 2008. preparing to let go of this year and make space for 2009. i made a list of high*lights, travels, triumphs and other treasures.

**
a couple of quotes i collected this year:

"Make what you most need to find." -Sabrina Ward Harrison

"Time does not change us. It just unfolds us." -Max Frisch

**
my primary animal companion in 2008: bird. symbolizing: the soul, transcendence, spirits of air, ascent, communication, freedom, sight, unity and community.

**
my words for 2008: believe and remember. i started with the word, "believe." believe gave birth to "remember." these two words guided me to these learnings (and, more!) this year. i believe and i remember...i am not alone. i am connected. You are here. i am equal. i am safe. i am beloved. i am held. i am a creator, creative vessel. all is well. i belong.

**
dear 2008 and all creative sources and forces of 2008,

thank you for the whole of this year.

this was a year full of high anxiety, consistent tension(s), resistance, holding on, waiting, expanding and breaking through. the image of the stretched skin of a momma's pregnant belly comes to mind when i think of this full*ness. lots of "making room." although i don't totally understand this right now, it is showing up for me to say this: this was a year in which i was pregnant, waiting and gave birth.

in recent years the image of a nest holding eggs has been significant to me. this year, birds emerged as important. now, as i prepare to enter a new year, the owl, specifically, is companioning me.

it was a deeply dark, heavy and hard year for me in ways new and transformative.

dealing with alone-ness (feeling alone and being alone) was a central theme and at the heart of my soul*work.

thank you for taking me to heart-shaped Africa and to an abundance of heart*full beings. for taking me to the places where bella twirled and tangoed in the months and days before her physical death. i know that this was an essential journey for obvious reasons and for reasons not yet discovered...

thank you for seminary. for my teachers and deans. for my classmates. for the space. for monthly journeys to NYC. thank you for the privilege of taking vows and being ordained an interfaith minister.

thank you for answering in some sure way each and every call of mine for "help." you have saved my life again and again and again and again and again...

thank you for keeping me company, holding me, in the darkness.

thank you for this city, where i live. this city has life*affirming powers.

thank you for the gift of hearing bella's "i'm right here" in response to my every "i miss you so much."

thank you for apples, popcorn, brown rice pasta, cherry tomatoes, pumpkin pie, eggs, avocados, tea, whipped cream, clementines, spinach and sweet potatoes.

thank you for guiding me to do the hard thing, the truest thing, when i'd really, really, really, really...rather not.

thank you for yoga and those yoga classes that rocked my world. you know, the ones that accelerated the healing by going deep, deeper, deepest...in minutes.

thank you for the presence of healers, friends, soul*sisters, family, community, bloggie lights, co-workers, acquaintances and all with whom i shared the path this year. thank you for forgiving me when/if ever i seemed more absent than present.

thank you for music and dancing.

thank you for prayer. thank you for mala beads and rosary beads. thank you for chanting/Kirtan.

thank you for books. thank you for words. thank you for writing. thank you for pens and paper.

thank you for photos, cameras and the art of photography.

thank you for creativity/creative expression.

thank you for birth and color and candles and angel dogs and flowers and more...

thank you, thank you, thank you.

**
in the dark, pre-dawn hours of tuesday morning an image came to mind regarding this movement out of 2008 and into 2009. i imagined each year in one's life as a room, connected to a larger whole or house. i thought about all of the elements in my 2008 room and i thought about the many doors and passageways i photographed while journeying in Africa earlier this year. i can't think of a better image to post than that of a door/passageway as i say, "fare thee well 2008."

winter solstice: Sacred Life Sunday

some treasures for this winter solstice, this :

*Jen Lee's Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark. find out more about downloading it via CD Baby (for $6!) here. last night before sleep i turned out the lights, sat in the dark & listened to this beauty, this sweet & wise & spoken lullaby. thank you, Jen Lee.

*"To Know the Dark" by Wendell Berry; discovered here.

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.

*words by Rebecca Parker, President of Starr King School for the Ministry:

"Perhaps for a moment the typewriters will stop clicking,
the wheels stop rolling and the computers desist from computing,
and a hush will fall over the city.
For in an instant, in the stillness, the chiming of celestial spheres will be heard, as earth hangs poised in the crystalline darkness,
and then gracefully tilts.

Let there be a season when holiness is heard, and the splendor of living is revealed. Stunned to silence by beauty we remember who we are and why we are here. There are inexplicable mysteries.

We are not alone. In the universe there moves a Wild One whose gestures alter earth's axis toward love. In the immense darkness everything spins with joy.

The cosmos unfolds us. We are caught in a web of stars, cradled in a swaying embrace, rocked by the holy night, babes of the universe.

Let this be the time we wake to life, as spring wakes,
In the moment of winter solstice."

*in the hushed stillness of this winter solstice i wish you this remembering: you are not alone. every*thing tilts toward love and joy. you are held, cradled, rocked. you are a precious babe of the universe.

FA-la-LA-La-la

there was a lot of FA-la-LA-La-la-ing this weekend! i went to visit two of my beloveds, s & a. whenever i am with them it feels like home. it's the best.

we have a tradition each year of getting together during the first or second weekend of december at s & a's home to create & celebrate christmas together. we run christmas errands. we pick out s & a's tree, garland & front door wreath. we decorate the house (indoors & outdoors) & trim the tree while listening to holiday tunes & telling stories. after the trimming is done we sit in the candlelit & twinklelit room & acknowledge the beauty & abundance of what/who is in the room & in our lives. the feeling of this post-tree trimming space resembles the energy that seems to descend on our world when it snows. quiet awe, stillness & soft delight. it's holy space. yesterday, while trimming & decorating we received the gift of snowfall. lucky, lucky, lucky us!

this weekend we also: watched Muppet & Colbert christmas tales; laughed a lot; ate oodles of yummy home*made meals (thanks to s's culinary expertise!); ate at one of our favorite mexican restaurants; cuddled with the cats & the doggie dear; drank glasses of wine & cups of tea & coffee; snuggled under blankets; and, celebrated our very own christmas morning this a.m.

i came home this evening to my decorated nest with a heart full o' nourishing love & endless gratitude; a bag full o' s & a's leftover garland (with which i promptly adorned my nest...the cherry or STAR* on top of my decorated nest); and, my christmas morning treasures (including a most color*full & soft scarf & inspiring lil' somethings from lululemon athletica).

did you FA-la-LA-La-la this weekend?

tuesday night treasures

• i heart holiday music sung by Johnny Mathis. thank you Liz Elayne for sharing this link.
• do you know Susan Tuttle? she is magical. have a look. and, her new book has just been released! hip hip hooray! oh wait, there's more! she's having a contest to give away a copy of her book. more information here. like i said, magical.
• moved by this post by Shari and her reference to "a place inside..."
• craving silence.

"Silence" by Hafiz

A day of Silence
Can be a pilgrimage in itself.

A day of Silence
Can help you listen
To the Soul play
Its marvelous lute and drum.

Is not most talking
A crazed defense of a crumbling fort?

I thought we came here
To surrender in Silence,

To yield to Light and Happiness,

To Dance within
In celebration of Love's Victory!

on my mind

• a new month.
• a new work week.
• a new season; the holiday season.
• a major work event tomorrow afternoon.
• a lil' nest to clean & decorate.
• a heap o' dishes to wash.
• banana walnut bread to bake.
• reading Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper.
• holiday cards to write.
• putting together this year's advent/*joy calendar in honor of bella.
• paying bills & writing "donation"/"contribution" checks while holiday shows play in the background.
• planning a winter solstice event.
• presents to wrap for s. & a., who i will see in virginia this weekend for our annual holiday weekend celebration. we will drink wine; find the perfect christmas tree; trim this perfect tree; eat at one of my favorite restaurants; share breakfasts together; say, "good night, john boy. good night, elizabeth..." (just like they did on this show) before going to sleep each night; have our own "christmas morning"; and, sink into the cozy*ness.

at home in my lil' nest

i've been away from my lil' urban nest for days. i returned a short while ago. i turned on the heat & my twinkle lights & put on some of my favorite holiday tunes, John Denver's Rocky Mountain Christmas. i did all of this before taking off my coat or unpacking a single thing from my bags. my priorities: warmth, color, light & music.

i am filled up with the richness of recent days. family. candlelight. music. movies (this one on dvd and this one at the movie theater). hot cocoa with marshmallows. pie (pumpkin, apple & coconut custard!). a thanksgiving day walk with my momma, our fam's doggie dear and one of bella's dearest friends. the presence of family friends. [just a word about presence...it means so much, your/our presence. always, of course. and, especially, when people's hearts are broken and they are standing (sometimes barely, always bravely) in awe of the depth of the ache they are feeling. as it was for me this thanksgiving, missing bella so much.] snuggling with my momma on the couch and falling asleep while resting my head on her chest. preparing chocolate chip walnut cookie dough to freeze & bake at christmas*time. calling, texting & e-mailing beloved friends to say, "thank you for being. i love you." a haircut. getting a manicure/pedicure with momma. donating here. egg nog with nutmeg sprinkled on top. purchasing two of these. rest. finding these words at church this a.m.: "Someday after the long, dark waiting there will be Light..." hearing the invitation this a.m. at church: "watch. be watchFULL in the waiting."

it is the season of advent. a season i am celebrating. a season all are invited to celebrate as s/he wishes, as s/he is called. advent means: "a coming into place, view, or being; arrival." it is this that i am celebrating: a season of coming into place, view or being; a season honoring arrival & birth. as i begin my celebration of this season i am honoring the dark, the unseen, the waiting & the promise of light.

giving thanks

i am thanksFULL for:
*my family.
*my work.
*my co-workers.
*my nest.
*the view from my nest. looking out into the dark evening/night and seeing buildings with windows and rooms filled with light. light in the dark. makes me think of this post by Jen Lee.
*friday's snowflakes.
*my tribe.
*phone conversations.
*plans.
*lists.
*art making.
*healing.
*kundalini yoga.
*prayer.
*possibility.
*tea.
*weekly tea dates with t.
*candlelight.
*twinklelight.
*movies.
*photos.
*two voice mail messages from bella saved on my phone. i know both of these messages by heart.
*this year's journey to heart-shaped Africa.
*my spiritual director.
*bodywork.
*books.
*baking.
*the election of Barack Obama as the next President of the United States.
*scarves.
*music.
*dancing.
*the opportunity to practice mindFULLness while washing dishes.
*inspiration.
*birth.
*resurrection.
*renewal.
*loving & connecting text & pix messages.
*mail.
*handwritten notes.
*journaling.
*attending & completing seminary & being ordained an interfaith minister.
*reiki.
*farmers markets.
*wild horses.
*my hometown.
*the gift of walking.
*hugs.
*forgiveness. in particular, self-forgiveness.
*polka dots.
*seasons.
*doggie dears.
*meditation.
*my rosary beads & my mala beads.
*trees.
*color.
*hardwood floors.
*pajamas.
*blankets.
*honoring myself, my whole self.

dear mother earth & more: Sacred Life Sunday

elements of my :

*i discovered this prayer in the prayer book, LIFE PRAYERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD, edited by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon. this is my prayer for today, for all my days.

Please, dear mother Earth,
Help me to stand firm on my own two feet
Drawing on the solid earth below me
Help me to know the constancy of your strength
the power that is you, oh dear mother earth
Help me to walk with the blood of rivers in my veins
and the dark crumbling soil of earth in my flesh
Let my muscles be strong as the tree trunks
that rise up out of your belly
To dance in the sky
and sing praises to the life all around
Beating, pulsing, rich and full
with your sweet sure energy.
Oh dear mother earth,
Live in this body today.
Sing loudly in every breath I take
Stretch wildly and flow freely
with all the directions I move
and come home with me,
come home to my belly
live deep in my soul
oh mother earth, SING!
-Stephanie Kaza

*a 1 hour 36 minutes & 18 seconds reconnecting phone conversation with a beloved sister who lives in laramie, wyoming. hearing that she is well and happy. this is a victory! a few years ago she proclaimed with humor (one of her magnificent gifts) and truth*fully that her life resembled a Lifetime movie. i am blessed with an abundance of soul*sisters. lucky, lucky, lucky me.

*remembering the delicious*ness of last night's dinner & nourishing conversation with another soul*sister. after dinner, a night of heart*moving sacred singing/chanting/Kirtan.

*in less than 2 hours i will embrace a sweet soul from portland, maine & her co-worker, who are in my city on business. we will celebrate thanks*giving & dine together!

*baking a family favorite cookie: coconut thumbprint cookies with raspberry preserves.

*wearing bella's pink sweater and a piece of jewelry (purchased in honor of my love for bella and her love for me) made by the divine Thea Coughlin.

*looking forward to this week: lunch with a friend at a favorite spot on monday afternoon; a kundalini yoga class on monday night; a tuesday afternoon reunion with a marvelous being, who i have not seen in over 9 years; going to see & listen to the great poet Mary Oliver on tuesday night; big bro's birthday on wednesday; a vinyasa yoga class on wednesday morning & dedicating this practice to my big bro; being at my parents' home with my bro & our fam's angel dog on wednesday afternoon - sunday; and, enjoying good food, fresh air, movies, games and all kinds of cozy*ness.

my weekend: a list

*writing
*list making
*updating finances
*paying bills
*sending/responding to e-mails
*creating november intentions: being new; being in process; being fear*less
*morning yoga practice & prayer at home
*indian food lunch & movie with t.
*a walk & cell phone talk with d.
*a 90 minute saturday evening phone conversation with l.
*a slice o' pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top
*11 hours of sleep on saturday night
*falling back: turning the clocks back
*preparing a spinach lasagna for tuesday night's election celebration!
*diggin' out my "Certificate of Voter Registration" card to bring with me when i vote on tuesday mornin'
*creating an altar for bella & my maternal grandmother at my parents' home in celebration of Day of the Dead
*a trip to Michaels
*saturday & sunday morning dance parties in my nest

i will

"I will nurse this autumn carefully,
treat its brittleness gently,
smooth its crumbling edges, its weeping afternoons.

I will rise early and go to it,
wrap it in a soft cloth
and watch its breathing.

I will nurture this autumn knowing
it is myself
in a pure and golden form,
and that childlike
soft words will be brought bubbling up
to be recorded in the patterns of leaves
and the low fog coming across the bay.

I will accept this death
and be content with its coming and watch
its coming
and speak of its coming in slow poems
until at last
there will be no more words,
you will hear only the sound of rain as you sleep."

-Wendy Smyer Yu (found in Life Prayers, p. 347, edited by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon)

sunday's collection & offering

*holding in my heart: boho baby* and the beings who are lovin' him into birth, who are waiting to greet & embrace him!

*on my mind: The Secret Life of Bees. i went to see this movie on friday night and it continues to flow through and breathe in me. a movie about women/woman*hood, mother*hood, sisters/sister*hood, sensitive souls (makes me think of this post by Dancing Mermaid), wounded souls, hope, healing, the Black Madonna, a wailing wall, bee keeping, justice and love. i am honoring and experiencing this movie as its own magnificent creation (i.e., experiencing it without comparing it to the book, which is one of my favorite books of all*time).

*completed: my autumn cleaning in my little nest. this process took weeks and involved rearranging some things in my nest (e.g., creating a new space for my bike and finding the just right spot for a much needed new lamp); putting together two big bags o' goodies for goodwill; purchasing a new green table for my creation/art nook; tucking away spring/summer clothing and pulling out autumn/winter wares (e.g., clothing, pumpkin candles, scarves and a new/birthday-gift-from-my-momma comforter); and, creating an autumn altar made of treasures from my recent journey to maine.

*saw and heard (while sipping a glass of red wine): Gillian Grassie (for the first time!) and my soul*sister, t., perform last night. play*fully divine!

*tasting: a home*made movie mix o' 1/8 - 1/4 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips; walnuts; raisins; and jelly beans.

*wearing: bella's t-shirts. sandals earlier in the week and a fleece jacket later in the week.

*navigating questions like these: what do i need? what do i stand on, lean on/towards, look in the direction of, when i am feeling sad, off balance, scattered, stressed and/or overwhelmed? and, other questions, like those jen lemen speaks of in her post, "The Ache and Other Thoughts on Finding True North". what makes me ache? what's really alive in me? what's truly stirring my soul?

*learning: how to partner with me and to honor where i am and who i am in this moment. i have been single most of my life and by most i mean over 90% of my life up to this point. i am single now. and, i desire committed partnership/life partnership. experiencing, creating, building and celebrating life, home and community with a partner. i know that this is an essential piece/part of my expression as a human being/creation in the world. i trust that even in my single*hood that this desire is being taken care of, held, honored and created. i know that i am an active participant in the creation of partnership right now, in this moment. i know that being here in this place in my journey is where my real work (the soul*making work) is, it is what is called for right now and it is also where i find rich*ness and cause for celebration...no, i do not always remember this true wisdom. sometimes i am so sad about coming home to a space empty of physical beings (my home space is rich with spirit beings and sometimes i forget this, too!). yes, there are days when i don't experience touch, not even the slightest touch from another physical being...to write that last sentence, to speak this truth, is liberating. to say this is how it is for me. this, i am learning, is part of the honoring. to say exactly how it is for me. to honor the rich*ness and celebration and to know and name what is pain*full, so pain*full, at times...i am learning that full*fillment, value, worthy*ness, love and partner*ship are here now. this life o' mine looks like this (being single) right now just as others' lives look like being in committed partnership. my life is not less, i am not less (or broken). and, there is nothing wrong with me...i am being invited, guided, to treat myself as i would treat my partner and as my partner would treat me. for me, this means greeting me and embracing me at my own front door, asking me what i would like to eat/prepare for breakfast/lunch/dinner, asking me what would make my heart sing today and asking me what i need today/in this moment.

*this weekend: early to bed on friday night post-movie. a full saturday of autumn cleansing, errands, pizza and green salad dinner with momma and poppa pre-performance (see above "saw and heard"). sun*shine. being at home. crisp air. walking/climbing many flights of stairs (the elevator is being fixed in my apartment building; my nest is on the 5th floor). Sacred Life Sunday (see below).

*: waking naturally at 7:15 a.m. and tackling those loads of laundry (more than usual). writing (a truly grounding/re*centering practice for me). whole wheat pancakes with a bit o' syrup and a few red raspberries on the side for brunch at home. a soul*deep & reconnecting conversation with my soul*sister, d. a mid-afternoon walk in the sun*shine, under the blue sky. an early evening (great!) movie at home: The Visitor.

and, you? what are you collecting? anything to offer?

thursday night thoughts

this piece of today's post is inspired by e.soule.

what i like (brings tears to my eyes):


what i've been doing: being quiet. re*grounding at home, in my city, after time(s) away in recent weeks.

where i've been/going: (where i've been...) north for an autumn adventure with beauty*full beings, soul*sisters, members of my tribe, family. (where i'm going...) to see The Secret Life of Bees.

what i've been thinking: in death there is life and birth: boldly blossoming. in death there is hope: wild and true. love reigns.

and, this piece of today's post is inspired by this JOY + RIDE.

on the nightstand (thank you, s.!)...


am loving...the "Pamela's Chocolate Chip Cookies" recipe on the package of All Natural Pamela's Products Wheat-Free & Gluten-Free Baking & Pancake Mix. i made this recipe for the first time last night. scrumptious!

what inspires me about this fall? journeys north and south to be with beloveds. cups of tea; exta*especially enjoyed in the presence of beloveds. honoring/celebrating autumn with these creative bloggie wonders: 3191; A Beautiful Mess; Be...Dream...Play...; port2port press; my topography; Nectar & Light; the habit of being; abby try again...

what are three constants in my day?
1. a morning yoga/prayer practice
2. walking (to work, home for lunch, to the store, to the post office, to the train, to yoga class, up and down the stairs in my apartment building...)
3. bella's presence

part Friday Fill-In, part gem's friday fill-in

numbers 1, 3, 5, 6 and 7 are from ; 2 and 4 are my creations.

1. October is a time for opening.
2. fridays feel festive!
3. Leaves are falling all around, it's a sweet and magical time.
4. it's the 3rd of october and here are three gratitudes & nourishments. one, the space for a 15 minute phone conversation with my darling friend, d., late thursday afternoon. feeling deeply connected to a soul*sister. so grateful. two, my weekly tea date with t. on thursday. on my plate: a tasty (melted in my mouth) lemon poppyseed scone. in my cup: hot creme caramel tea. in my heart: t.'s words to me. she said that recently she's been noticing a "blossoming (in me)...something transforming in my space..." even as i deal with what i'm dealing with. she said she hears it in my voice and she sees it in my face and eyes. her words to and for me resonate completely. three, having these hours just for me before i make the journey to be with beloveds this weekend.
5. playing girl's tennis in high school (during the late summer/fall season) = good memories.
6. It was a dark and stormy night after a string of dark and stormy nights and i was home, nestled safely in my bed, dreaming of the birth of a blue*sky, sun*bright morning.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to journeying to the lake, tomorrow my plans include resting, reconnecting with two soul*sisters, sharing nourishing meals and breathing in the fresh, crisp air and Sunday, I want to give thanks for the abundance, for the harvest.

aUtuMn inTentIoNs

these are my autumn intentions:
*live in aligned partnership with autumn and her energies. allow for her winds, her crisp*ness (invigorating and sparkly), her releasing (of leaves), her transformation, her harvest, her astonishing beauty...
*be at home & create home (in my mind, heart, body, nest and work)
*be & create cozy
*be gentle & gentler still with me
*make art
*bake
*light candles
*build my spiritual direction/spiritual guidance practice
*build creative community
*drink cups of tea
*eat slices of pumpkin pie
*practice yoga
*pray
*worship
*nourish my body (monthly massage appointments), mind (delicious & inspiring reading; art viewing; dvd watching...) and spirit (listening for god's whispers and for the feel of her hand in my hand or on my back, gently guiding)
*take walks
*rest, ground, heal
*bake
*VOTE!
*celebrate the extraordinary ordinary: the simplicity of a falling leaf; the unexpectedly good happening; the washing of dishes
*make & have dates with friends: tea dates; lunch dates; dinner dates; creative dates; phone dates
*travel to the lake and to portland, maine

what are your autumn intentions?

today's grat*nour: a poem, discovered here.

Instructions

Give up the world; give up self; finally, give up God.
Find god in rhododendrons and rocks,
passers-by, your cat.
Pare your beliefs, your absolutes.
Make it simple; make it clean.
No carry-on luggage allowed.
Examine all you have
with a loving and critical eye, then
throw away some more.
Repeat. Repeat.
Keep this and only this:
what your heart beats loudly for
what feels heavy and full in your gut.
There will only be one or two
things you will keep,
and they will fit lightly
in your pocket.

-Sheri Hostetler, A Cappella: Mennonite Voices in Poetry

gratitudes & nourishments

gratitude (noun): a feeling of thank*fullness and appreciation

nourishment (noun): something that strengthens, builds up, sustains

i've been thinking a lot about these two words: gratitude and nourishment. i am asking: for what am i grateful? in this moment, right now, this now, what is there to be grateful for?

as i (continue to) heal and create and discover life*affirming and soul*satisfying ways to provide nourishment and receive nourishment, i ask: what am i truly, deeply hungry for? what nourishes me wholly? what is the most nourishing choice i can make in this moment?

during this season of autumn i will be posting gratitudes & nourishments when i post. recently, i came up with another name, a nickname of sorts, for gratitudes & nourishments: grat*nours. sometimes i may refer to gratitudes & nourishments as grat*nours. you know, for fun, like nicknames!

for today, here are my gratitudes & nourishments, my grat*nours:
*remembering: embracing and being embraced by a friend, a seminary classmate, on friday afternoon. we hadn't seen each other since graduation, three months ago. after releasing our embrace to refocus our attention on the tasks at hand (both of us were involved in a project in nyc on friday), he turned and walked away. then, he turned and walked back towards me. his intention was crystal clear. he looked directly at me, embraced me again and said, "i love you." then he pulled back to look at me again and said, "you know this, right? i love you. i have told you this, haven't i? i love you."
*remembering: early friday morning while walking to the train station to catch my first of two trains to nyc, i smelled autumn. on friday afternoon, while taking a break in central park, i sat on a bench and i felt autumn on my skin. delicious.
*this post. this is what it's all about. lighting the path for each other by simply being who we are divinely created to be.
*and, this post. practical, help*full and juicy tips for "bottling the magic"! that is, the magic that is known, touched and tasted after a fly*ing high/mountain*top experience (e.g., after an inspiring workshop, a sweet reunion with one(s) you love or a soul*full retreat). bonus: kelly rae speaks of this, too. you can link to kelly rae's post by going over to my "word" list on the left. click on "life after life changing experiences."
*these words...
"The night
walked down the sky
with
the moon
in her hand."
-Frederic Lawrence Knowles
...discovered here.
*considering all of the feathers that i've noticed recently as "evidence of angels" thanks to judy wise. see this post.
*bits/words and pieces/images of fall found here at Be...Dream...Play...