*holding in my heart: boho baby* and the beings who are lovin' him into birth, who are waiting to greet & embrace him!
*on my mind: The Secret Life of Bees. i went to see this movie on friday night and it continues to flow through and breathe in me. a movie about women/woman*hood, mother*hood, sisters/sister*hood, sensitive souls (makes me think of this post by Dancing Mermaid), wounded souls, hope, healing, the Black Madonna, a wailing wall, bee keeping, justice and love. i am honoring and experiencing this movie as its own magnificent creation (i.e., experiencing it without comparing it to the book, which is one of my favorite books of all*time).
*completed: my autumn cleaning in my little nest. this process took weeks and involved rearranging some things in my nest (e.g., creating a new space for my bike and finding the just right spot for a much needed new lamp); putting together two big bags o' goodies for goodwill; purchasing a new green table for my creation/art nook; tucking away spring/summer clothing and pulling out autumn/winter wares (e.g., clothing, pumpkin candles, scarves and a new/birthday-gift-from-my-momma comforter); and, creating an autumn altar made of treasures from my recent journey to maine.
*saw and heard (while sipping a glass of red wine): Gillian Grassie (for the first time!) and my soul*sister, t., perform last night. play*fully divine!
*tasting: a home*made movie mix o' 1/8 - 1/4 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips; walnuts; raisins; and jelly beans.
*wearing: bella's t-shirts. sandals earlier in the week and a fleece jacket later in the week.
*navigating questions like these: what do i need? what do i stand on, lean on/towards, look in the direction of, when i am feeling sad, off balance, scattered, stressed and/or overwhelmed? and, other questions, like those jen lemen speaks of in her post, "The Ache and Other Thoughts on Finding True North". what makes me ache? what's really alive in me? what's truly stirring my soul?
*learning: how to partner with me and to honor where i am and who i am in this moment. i have been single most of my life and by most i mean over 90% of my life up to this point. i am single now. and, i desire committed partnership/life partnership. experiencing, creating, building and celebrating life, home and community with a partner. i know that this is an essential piece/part of my expression as a human being/creation in the world. i trust that even in my single*hood that this desire is being taken care of, held, honored and created. i know that i am an active participant in the creation of partnership right now, in this moment. i know that being here in this place in my journey is where my real work (the soul*making work) is, it is what is called for right now and it is also where i find rich*ness and cause for celebration...no, i do not always remember this true wisdom. sometimes i am so sad about coming home to a space empty of physical beings (my home space is rich with spirit beings and sometimes i forget this, too!). yes, there are days when i don't experience touch, not even the slightest touch from another physical being...to write that last sentence, to speak this truth, is liberating. to say this is how it is for me. this, i am learning, is part of the honoring. to say exactly how it is for me. to honor the rich*ness and celebration and to know and name what is pain*full, so pain*full, at times...i am learning that full*fillment, value, worthy*ness, love and partner*ship are here now. this life o' mine looks like this (being single) right now just as others' lives look like being in committed partnership. my life is not less, i am not less (or broken). and, there is nothing wrong with me...i am being invited, guided, to treat myself as i would treat my partner and as my partner would treat me. for me, this means greeting me and embracing me at my own front door, asking me what i would like to eat/prepare for breakfast/lunch/dinner, asking me what would make my heart sing today and asking me what i need today/in this moment.
*this weekend: early to bed on friday night post-movie. a full saturday of autumn cleansing, errands, pizza and green salad dinner with momma and poppa pre-performance (see above "saw and heard"). sun*shine. being at home. crisp air. walking/climbing many flights of stairs (the elevator is being fixed in my apartment building; my nest is on the 5th floor). Sacred Life Sunday (see below).
*: waking naturally at 7:15 a.m. and tackling those loads of laundry (more than usual). writing (a truly grounding/re*centering practice for me). whole wheat pancakes with a bit o' syrup and a few red raspberries on the side for brunch at home. a soul*deep & reconnecting conversation with my soul*sister, d. a mid-afternoon walk in the sun*shine, under the blue sky. an early evening (great!) movie at home: The Visitor.
and, you? what are you collecting? anything to offer?