i have 157 e-mails in my personal e-mail inbox. an improvement over the 300+ that were in there just weeks ago, where they resided for about 17 months.
4 of them are dated before may 20, 2006, in the days before bella's death.
23 of them are dated after may 30, 2006, the day of bella's celebration of life service.
130 are still sittin' in the inbox, dated between may 20, 2006-may 29, 2006, nearly 18 months ago.
i write this and what i feel is awe and gratitude. in awe of the magnitude of bella, my/our bella love and bella's continued impact in this earthly realm. in gratitude for our continued & deepening relationship and sisterhood. this bella-love is my greatest glimmer. i purchased this pendant in honor of our relationship now (and, in honor of the presence of elephants in my life journey). i often feel bella pressed against my forehead/third eye in this way.