i have been spending time re*viewing 2008. preparing to let go of this year and make space for 2009. i made a list of high*lights, travels, triumphs and other treasures.
a couple of quotes i collected this year:
"Make what you most need to find." -Sabrina Ward Harrison
"Time does not change us. It just unfolds us." -Max Frisch
my primary animal companion in 2008: bird. symbolizing: the soul, transcendence, spirits of air, ascent, communication, freedom, sight, unity and community.
my words for 2008: believe and remember. i started with the word, "believe." believe gave birth to "remember." these two words guided me to these learnings (and, more!) this year. i believe and i remember...i am not alone. i am connected. You are here. i am equal. i am safe. i am beloved. i am held. i am a creator, creative vessel. all is well. i belong.
dear 2008 and all creative sources and forces of 2008,
thank you for the whole of this year.
this was a year full of high anxiety, consistent tension(s), resistance, holding on, waiting, expanding and breaking through. the image of the stretched skin of a momma's pregnant belly comes to mind when i think of this full*ness. lots of "making room." although i don't totally understand this right now, it is showing up for me to say this: this was a year in which i was pregnant, waiting and gave birth.
in recent years the image of a nest holding eggs has been significant to me. this year, birds emerged as important. now, as i prepare to enter a new year, the owl, specifically, is companioning me.
it was a deeply dark, heavy and hard year for me in ways new and transformative.
dealing with alone-ness (feeling alone and being alone) was a central theme and at the heart of my soul*work.
thank you for taking me to heart-shaped Africa and to an abundance of heart*full beings. for taking me to the places where bella twirled and tangoed in the months and days before her physical death. i know that this was an essential journey for obvious reasons and for reasons not yet discovered...
thank you for seminary. for my teachers and deans. for my classmates. for the space. for monthly journeys to NYC. thank you for the privilege of taking vows and being ordained an interfaith minister.
thank you for answering in some sure way each and every call of mine for "help." you have saved my life again and again and again and again and again...
thank you for keeping me company, holding me, in the darkness.
thank you for this city, where i live. this city has life*affirming powers.
thank you for the gift of hearing bella's "i'm right here" in response to my every "i miss you so much."
thank you for apples, popcorn, brown rice pasta, cherry tomatoes, pumpkin pie, eggs, avocados, tea, whipped cream, clementines, spinach and sweet potatoes.
thank you for guiding me to do the hard thing, the truest thing, when i'd really, really, really, really...rather not.
thank you for yoga and those yoga classes that rocked my world. you know, the ones that accelerated the healing by going deep, deeper, deepest...in minutes.
thank you for the presence of healers, friends, soul*sisters, family, community, bloggie lights, co-workers, acquaintances and all with whom i shared the path this year. thank you for forgiving me when/if ever i seemed more absent than present.
thank you for music and dancing.
thank you for prayer. thank you for mala beads and rosary beads. thank you for chanting/Kirtan.
thank you for books. thank you for words. thank you for writing. thank you for pens and paper.
thank you for photos, cameras and the art of photography.
thank you for creativity/creative expression.
thank you for birth and color and candles and angel dogs and flowers and more...
thank you, thank you, thank you.
in the dark, pre-dawn hours of tuesday morning an image came to mind regarding this movement out of 2008 and into 2009. i imagined each year in one's life as a room, connected to a larger whole or house. i thought about all of the elements in my 2008 room and i thought about the many doors and passageways i photographed while journeying in Africa earlier this year. i can't think of a better image to post than that of a door/passageway as i say, "fare thee well 2008."