Sunday, November 29, 2009

a chant of sorts for this season

D A Curly W Clock n

i have been feeling (a lot of) anxious lately. off. stuck. worried. heavy. in the dark.
i am noticing how these feelings show up, what they look like, in my thoughts and in my ways of being in the world. frustration. irritability. social awkwardness. self consciousness. shame. incessant thinking about the past or the future and missing the present entirely.
it's been a rugged time.

i am listening for guidance. increasingly. desperately. something to hold on to, something to step up to.
i am receiving the hints and whispers.
these words stringing together a chant of sorts: diligence. activism. wakefulness. new, as a way of being. d.a.w.n.
i imagine this d.a.w.n. chant as a string of twinkle lights. marking where home is and how to get back to it. where the magic is. where hope, possibility and promise reside. yes, where the dawn is.

this intersects perfectly ~ divinely ~ with the arrival, today, of a season i deeply cherish.
the season of advent.
advent is a season of preparation and waiting.
it is an intentionally holy time for me.
i honor the dark and the light.
i celebrate quiet, fulfillment, vision and vitality.
i embrace birth and winter's arrival.

in upcoming days and weeks, i will bring the whole of this here. my path of embodying the d.a.w.n. and living advent. i will document what is inspiring me this season.

today's inspirations:
  • the Holiday Light Show at Macy's Center City. i saw this show for the first time over 30 years ago, when the store was called John Wanamaker's. John Wanamaker's is considered the first department store in philadelphia and my maternal grandmother worked there for 30 years beginning in 1954. being there always makes me feel connected to her.
  • The Comcast Holiday Spectacular in 3-D. sitting on a bench in between my momma and poppa. all of us gathered for the 5:00 p.m. show ~ young and old, girls/women and boys/men, city dwellers and visitors ~ wearing 3-D glasses and looking up.
  • "Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • sipping my first hot cocoa with whipped cream mug of the season. tonight, while writing this post.


Heather said...

I'll think of you when I take in the light show w/ my little ones this year. For me this feels like a very unsure and in between time and your words are very comforting.

jeanine said...

i know just how you feel, love. i have been feeling the same lately... but i am getting ready to go for a walk in the snow and i have a feeling that is just what i need right now. blessings to you.

liz elayne lamoreux said...

i am so appreciative of how you see the world and how you share pieces of who you are here.
this post invites me to take a deep breath. this is what i need. thank you.

emerson's quote is something i want to tatoo on me. i will be holding it close as i walk forward.


ab said...

I carry you with me every moment. You are not alone. All you have to do is say my name. Sending love your way.

Lisa said...

So much love in these comments...
I too share in these sentiments both yours and theirs. This can be a difficult season...