at the end of 2009

it is new year's eve night. i am having a quiet, candlelit night at home. perfect.

i remember last year's new year's eve. i traveled to my parents' home (which was not the original plan for the night) and got motion sick on the way as a migraine erupted. i was in bed by 8:30 p.m. i woke in the early morning hours of 2009 with visions of change in this new year. i saw that there was to be an ending in july and the loss, death, of a mother in 2009.

so it was that i left my work of five and a half years and my home in the city of brotherly and sisterly love at the end of july and on august 1 i moved north. and so it was, too, that in the early days of 2009 my godmother was suddenly diagnosed with a brain tumor and a few days after thanksgiving she died.

tonight i am thinking about:

• the loves in my life and their aches, victories, worries and creations in 2009. i want to tell them, you: everything will be okay, every thing, i promise. i do not know how or when, i just know that it will be. i am holding you in light.
• my word for the new year: bliss.
• putting together a new volume of tunes inspiring me.
• my deep heart desire to create life, love, family and home with another.
• gratitude for three wide open days to gently welcome and enter the new year, the bliss year, prior to beginning a new work adventure on monday, the 4th. these will be days full of daydreaming and planning.
• entering a period of hibernation.
• ab's january visit.
• s. giving birth in late may/early june.
• traveling to nyc in june.
• strengthening my body.
• healing and transforming an essential relationship in my life.
• launching the website for my practice in early '10.
• what will my life look like on december 31, 2010?

my expansive, adventure-full 2009

dearest 2009,

on this last day of you, i honor thee.

the whole of expansive, adventure-full you.

this year of my being bRAVe in this.

this year of learning how to powerfully navigate the feeling of being "stuck" and strengthening my keeping-the-energy-flowing muscle.

you were this and more ~

the deep, pitch black darkness before the dawn;

The Portfolio Project;

herbal remedies;

watching, witnessing and allowing;

late winter visits from old friends ushering me into the dawn, the spring, renewal;

a trip to new england in april where an unseen future was unfolding and my nose was pierced, a baptism;

receiving a spirited invitation to consider moving north during my flight home from new england;

discerning and choosing to leap north;

a journey to honor bella and scatter some of her dust;

completing my five and a half years of work in the city of brotherly and sisterly love and saying goodbye to my work family;

new live music loves: Rose Cousins and Anais Mitchell;

free teleconference calls with Christine Kane;

mentoring an interfaith seminary student;

bags and bags full of goods to goodwill;

the movement of things in and out of storage;

finding my new home with two roomie dears;

the Mondo Beyondo e-course and local community;

clarifying my core values: voice, vitality, heart vision, gentleness and spaciousness;

Squam Art Workshops: finding my fire*side beauties, meeting some of my exquisite bloggie beauties and making art in the woods;

knitting again;

maintaining a daily morning practice;

weekly tea dates with Trish;

weekly meet-ups (mostly on sundays) with K., a fire*side beauty;

finding a place of worship;

becoming part of a women's spirituality/wisdom group;

an annual columbus day weekend heart*fest gathering in portland, maine;

my first roller derby;

solstice and equinox ceremonies;

building my practice;

being in process;

honoring my rhythm;

inHERviews;

asking for and receiving support in my leaping, adventuring and daily living, learning;

new and inspiring work to assist with generating income while building my practice;

an annual making merry, making christmas weekend with my bff and her partner;

Skype dates with ab, another fire*side beauty;

being big;

a harvest meal;

December Views 2009;

hosting christmas in my new new england home; and,

ending with tonight's full, blue moon.

with the biggest love and greatest thanks,

gem

the eve before the eve of '10

december 29, 2009 views

the goods: list 32

• "Within us / is the soul of the whole, / the wise silence, / the universal beauty, the eternal One." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• today is a day all to myself. my parents, bro and the family dog got in a car this a.m. to travel back to their homes after full and festive days here in new england. today this: a morning walk in the wind and cold to the library and grocery store; a phone chat with Trish to check in and plan for meeting up tomorrow; loads of laundry; a string of sent e-mails, offering my thanks for holiday wishes and treats; an updated budget and paid bills; downloaded photos; and, this sitting here ~ stretched out on the red couch, wrapped in blankets ~ with the twinkle lights and a candle lit.
• time with sister*friends in the days ahead: meeting up with Trish tomorrow; celebrating d.'s 31st on the 31st; and, brunch with K. on the 1st.
• being a part of her "Dig List." i can't wait to SEE her in january!
• thinking about my word for 2010. i thought it was going to be "voice" or "clarity" and then days ago another word showed up and i think she might be the one for this new year. more about this later.

boxing day 2009 views

christmas day 2009 views

christmas eve 2009 views

views from around the house

driver's seat views

december weekend views

the goods: list 31

• a new opportunity to generate income (and do important work) as i continue to build my practice. so. very. exciting! what a ride this week was ~ from the time of last friday morning's first phone call to schedule a friday afternoon phone interview, the in-person interview on monday, the "pros" and "cons" list, the trusting self and the not trusting self round and round, the final in-person interview, the formal invitation, the working and re-working details to this morning's "yes, i accept!" cheers to '09 adventures. wow. what. a. year.
• "The grace that has seen you through thus far will see you through always." ~ Alan Cohen
• an excerpt from Karen Maezen Miller's new book, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life:
• hosting a local Mondo Beyondo gathering on thursday night. honoring this time of year. sitting in the darkness ~ illuminated by candlelight, twinklelight and each others' voices ~ together; listening to words (words by her, her and another) about wintertime; and writing holiday cards/messages to ourselves.
• inHERview with Christine Chitnis.

feeling blue

waiting for the brightness to return...

creature comforts

inHERview: Christine Chitnis

this month's inHERview is with a dynamite beauty, Christine Chitnis, writer and crafter extraordinaire (and more, so much more...)!

i had the privilege of traveling to Squam Art Workshops with Christine after she responded to my post on the SAW message board requesting a ride to the september '09 session. this is how i first came to know Christine, through her generosity. when i met her and after we spent some time talking and getting to know one another i thought, "this woman is a force." truly. i am deeply inspired by the inventive, cheerful and graceful life she creates day by day.

Who are you?

I am a writer and crafter...a maker of many things. I am both a world traveler and a homebody. I am a city mouse and a country mouse. I dwell in the opposing sides of myself.

Where can we find you?

Here, there, everywhere. This year has been a "vagabond year," involving tons of travel; Chicago, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, St. Croix, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, Montreal, New Hampshire, Michigan...the list goes on and on.

What makes home "home" for you?

My home is filled with things I made with my own two hands...furniture I rescued from the side of the road, refurbished and painted, pillows I made out of tea towels, all sorts of treasures. My home is filled with color and light, I think it is an extremely cheerful place to be! And how could I forget my chickens...who entertain me constantly with their silly antics. They make my backyard the place to be!

My community is also a defining characteristic of "home." My husband works for Brown University, so the academic community is an important part of our social life. I love the local merchants who make our town the vibrant place that it is. I am our library's #1 patron...I am there every other day checking out a book or ten! Community is a large part of what I define as "home." We are lucky to live in the thriving, diverse community of Providence, RI.

Where do you feel most at home?

If I am surrounded by my family I am at home, no matter where I happen to be physically.

How do you spend your days?

I spend my days writing, dreaming and creating in my studio. I love having my own space in which to spread out and make a lovely mess.

How do you spend your nights?

I love the moment when my husband comes through the door. Dinner is simmering on the stove, music is softly playing in the background, and all feels right in the world. We always sit down together for dinner and talk about our day, it keeps us feeling connected.

How do you spend your weekends?

Weekends are for travel, exploring new places. One of the many things that I love about living on the East Coast is that we are close to so many amazing places; Maine, New Hampshire, Boston, Vermont, Newport...the beach, the mountains, the city. We are so lucky to live where we live. We can hop in the car or catch a train and in a few hours, be in a whole new world.

How do you define your tribe?

The people who, because of their presence, make my life richer.

Who is a part of your tribe?

This past year, my tribe has grown in ways that I never anticipated, and that is due to my attending Squam Art Workshops. I met Elizabeth and we immediately hit it off...we have since traveled together, laughed together, philosophized together. She is "my people." Through her I have met and grown to love the fabulous Swirly, the lovely Jeanine, the hilarious Kellen, and so many others.

It also helps that Elizabeth's man and my man get along. Men must be kept occupied so us ladies can freely do our thing! They are like children at times, "oh look, a ball, go bat it around for a while so we can talk"...but we love them despite this, or maybe because of this!

The original member of my tribe...my best friend in the whole world (besides my hubby), is my mom. She is at the heart of everything I do. I also have a small handful of friends from college and my single days...they knew me way back when, and loved me anyway...those are truly great friends!

What does December mean to you?

December is a time for giving thanks. It is a time to reflect on the year coming to a close. It is a time to be with family and friends. It is a time to practice simple living...small, thoughtful, handmade gifts instead of consumerism and greed. Also, as a Catholic, it is a time for remembering the true reason for the season...that small child born in a humble manger.

I am loving this quote for December: "A small gift given with true sincerity is often worth more than a valuable gift given without it." -Blessed Henry Suso

What adventure are you participating in?

I am on my way to India for the first time this month. My husband is Indian, and ever since we were married, he has been eager to show me his country. I can hardly wait to experience the rich colors, spicy air and friendly, crowded streets.

As far as writing adventures, I have some incredible, big, huge projects in the pipelines. But they are top-secret and cannot be discussed yet. Let's just say 2010 will be an exciting year, career-wise!

What are you reveling in?

The fresh snowfall and my warm cup of coffee...does it get any better than that?

What are you committed to?

Growing as a person, writer, wife and friend.

What song is singing to you right now?

While pondering your questions, I was listening to Chaka Khan's "Love Me Still" with Bruce Hornsby on piano. Jonatha Brooke introduced me to this song at Squam, and it is so beautiful...it is on constant repeat!

If you were to "tell the world just one thing" (as Jewel sings) what would that "one thing" be?

"Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it." -William Penn

A fantastic reminder to forge your own path, no matter what the masses may be doing.

Links to Christine:

http://christinechitnis.com

http://lavenderlimes.blogspot.com