Wednesday, October 17, 2007


*today i am remembering how i felt during my visit with c & her dear ones in portland, maine. i remember not as a way to hold on or attach myself to some other moment or time; i remember as a way, simply & powerfully, to honor the essence of my being: open-hearted, peace-full, calm, grounded, delighted, grateful, mindful & in awe. what is the essence of your being?
*this evening after a satisfying day at work i came home and made some delicious pumpkin muffins. i love pumpkin & i am happy, happy that it is pumpkin season! my little nest & my heart are warm from the oven and infused with the scent of pumpkin. what scent would you like your home & heart spaces to be infused with?
*this afternoon while looking at a photo of a newborn girl (my godmother's newest grandchild...especially delightful as she is the mother of all boys and until yesterday was the grandmother of all boys!), i felt an ache. i hadn't felt this particular ache before. sometimes (sometimes the "sometimes" is "often") when i encounter children (from newborns to teens) and young adults, i am reminded of bella. while looking at this babe, my heart ached and longed and remembered. i remembered bella's human body at the beginning & in the same moment i remembered bella's human body at the end & i remembered everything in between. all in a moment.
*exploring this site. hearing & feeling the call to cleanse and detox.
*cleaning my desk & office space. de-cluttering.
*this great quote sent to me by my beloved friend, k:
"My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
The time has come. Your time. To celebrate. And to see the goodness that you are.
You my child, are divine. You are pure. You are sublimely free.
You are God in disguise. And you are always perfectly safe.
Do not fight the dark. Just turn on the light.
Let go, And breathe into the goodness that you are."
-Swami Kripalvanandji (Bapuji)
*dancing to this song this a.m. i have been profoundly inspired by Kris Carr, who dances to at least one song per day. this is now an integral part of my daily routine! what are your favorite songs to dance to?
*receiving this poem via "Letters from an Open Heart 10-17-07" at the perfect, perfect time:

Long Afternoon at the Edge of Sister Pond
by Mary Oliver

As for life,
I'm humbled,
I'm without words
sufficient to say

how it has been hard as flint,
and soft as a spring pond,
both of these
and over and over,

and long pale afternoons besides,
and so many mysteries
beautiful as eggs in a nest,
still unhatched

though warm and watched over
by something I have never seen -
a tree angel, perhaps,
or a ghost of holiness.

Every day I walk out into the world
to be dazzled, then to be reflective.
It suffices, it is all comfort -
along with human love,

dog love, water love, little-serpent love,
sunburst love, or love for that smallest of birds
flying among the scarlet flowers.
There is hardly time to think about

stopping, and lying down at last
to the long afterlife, to the tenderness
yet to come, when
time will brim over the singular pond, and become forever,

and we will pretend to melt away into the leaves.
As for death
I can't wait to be the hummingbird,
can you?

what are your morsels?


bella said...

oh how I love Mary Oliver. Thank-you for this poem. And for the quote. Breaking your own heart. This is it, yes?
And your sister, your bella, I did not know. Now I do.
As for detox? my friend is currently doing a detox diet. you can read her blog here:

I feel when I read your words an opening in my own heart.

love to you.

mccabe said...

such inspiration here!
i shall copy these questions into my journal...thank you!

mccabe xx