what would i do

the brave and soul-full Jen Ballantyne asked this real and true question: what would i do if i only had 12 months to live?

awake in the dark in the early morning hours i remembered this question. this question that was asked of me (as a reader visiting Jen's blog for the first time on friday). here is what is emerging for me in response...

i would clarify/focus my intention/attention. i would remember my purpose for being here, on this earthly plane at this time, in this place: presence & healing. i would continue to write (a holy calling of mine). i would continue to write love letters & send treasures in the mail (one of my favorite things!). i would keep telling people how much i love, adore & cherish them. i would tell my family, community & tribe how they have given me life & saved me again and again and again; i would keep telling them how grateful i am for them. i would pray constantly, speaking to the closest & dearest partner i've known in this lifetime: spirit/wisdom/love. i would go with the flow & remember to pause and redirect my energy (sooner) when realizing that i was blocking the flow/getting in the way of source/life/spirit. i would let go of the tightness, the holding in my body and mind. i would write a list of the places in my life where my integrity was out and restore the integrity in each place, one by one. i would let myself fall in love in new, deeper, surprising & mysterious ways. i would forgive myself for my (perfect) imperfections. i would ask some souls for their forgiveness for the ways in which i was unjust, unkind and hurtful. i would enter into the delicious-ness, the tasty-ness of each moment. i would taste each bite of food. i would remind myself to look, to see what is. i would create rituals & i would invite others to participate. i would ask others to sit with me, to be with me, to hold me, to create rituals for me. i would speak the truth and only the truth/the heart of the matter. i would grieve. i would howl, scream, cry, sob. i would, no doubt, let go more. i would allow for more be-ing and less do-ing. i would take deep, deep breaths. i would call on bella. i would call on my maternal grandmother. i would dance. i would sing. i would free myself. i would laugh, deep belly laughs. i would be light.

thank you, Jen, for this opportunity, for the invitation to the table of your heart, for including me/us in your journey.