bus inspirations

today i spent most of the day on buses, making my way back to my new england home. here are three things that inspired me in my travels today:

1. to begin, some background on the first inspiration. my momma's bff since the 3rd grade, my godmother, b.w., died this morning. b.w. & my momma have been best friends for nearly 60 years. my heart aches for my momma, for b.w.'s husband, her three boys (all in their 30s), two daughters-in-law & three grandchildren. my eyes have been full of tears today (as they have been for much of this past week). on the bus this a.m. i opened my book, Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner, to these words: "Randi is the oldest friend I've got. There are a few people out there with whom you fit just so, and, amazingly, you keep fitting just so even after you have growth spurts or lose weight or stop wearing high heels. You keep fitting after you have children or change religions or stop dyeing your hair or quit your job at Goldman Sachs and take up farming. Somehow, God is gracious enough to give us a few of those people, people you can stretch into, people who don't go away, and whom you wouldn't want to go away, even if they offered to."
2. christmas trees for sale on amsterdam avenue in nyc.
3. a billboard with this message: "eat right. / be active. / have fun." simple.

a chant of sorts for this season

i have been feeling (a lot of) anxious lately. off. stuck. worried. heavy. in the dark.

i am noticing how these feelings show up, what they look like, in my thoughts and in my ways of being in the world. frustration. irritability. social awkwardness. self consciousness. shame. incessant thinking about the past or the future and missing the present entirely.

it's been a rugged time.

i am listening for guidance. increasingly. desperately. something to hold on to, something to step up to.

i am receiving the hints and whispers.

these words stringing together a chant of sorts: diligence. activism. wakefulness. new, as a way of being. d.a.w.n.

i imagine this d.a.w.n. chant as a string of twinkle lights. marking where home is and how to get back to it. where the magic is. where hope, possibility and promise reside. yes, where the dawn is.

this intersects perfectly ~ divinely ~ with the arrival, today, of a season i deeply cherish.

the season of advent.

advent is a season of preparation and waiting.

it is an intentionally holy time for me.

i honor the dark and the light.

i celebrate quiet, fulfillment, vision and vitality.

i embrace birth and winter's arrival.

in upcoming days and weeks, i will bring the whole of this here. my path of embodying the d.a.w.n. and living advent. i will document what is inspiring me this season.

today's inspirations:

• the Holiday Light Show at Macy's Center City. i saw this show for the first time over 30 years ago, when the store was called John Wanamaker's. John Wanamaker's is considered the first department store in philadelphia and my maternal grandmother worked there for 30 years beginning in 1954. being there always makes me feel connected to her.
• The Comcast Holiday Spectacular in 3-D. sitting on a bench in between my momma and poppa. all of us gathered for the 5:00 p.m. show ~ young and old, girls/women and boys/men, city dwellers and visitors ~ wearing 3-D glasses and looking up.
• "Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• sipping my first hot cocoa with whipped cream mug of the season. tonight, while writing this post.

the goods: list 29

• by inches* post by Andrea Scher. a poem by Maya Stein. yes, to these words. "By inches, a change sneaks into you, even if it doesn't look like much."
• Chilly Cow Pumpkin Frozen Custard. i added another pumpkin good to my list of pumpkin favs.
• her glow.
• speaking the whole truth with a friend & letting the tears fall while she listened & listened & listened. thank you, K.
• it's almost time to listen to Jen Lee's, Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark.
• christmas & holiday tunes.
• twinkle lights.
• this post by Heather, one of my fire*side beauties from Squam Art Workshops. Heather rocks!
• grace, a post by Jeanine. Jeanine included these words by Rumi in this post: "When you are so weak, give up to grace. / The ocean takes care of each wave / till it gets to shore."
• living in these words, the words of Anne Lamott, "All you could do finally was to just show up...as it turns out, showing up was the most important thing. Your there-ness, your stepping into their line of vision, was almost life-giving...So you showed up when it felt like the whole world was falling apart, and your being there said that just for that moment, this one tiny piece of the world was OK, was better. You didn't do anything; you were just there."

the goods: list 28

• winning Owl. lucky, lucky, blessed, blessed me. thank you for this offering, dear Pixie.
• waking sunday & simply feeling lighter & lightFULL.
• my friendship with K. she is one of the beauties i connected with fire*side at Squam Art Workshops in september. K. lives nearby. how did i/we get to be so very lucky? she is generous, wise, thoughtful, brave, talented...
• Rose Cousins. K. & i went to see her perform on sunday night. soulful, playful & inspiring. there was even a My Little Pony Cheerilee on stage with her ~ such fun! thank you, Jen Lee, for introducing us to her music.
• a visit from t. hours spent at the kitchen table. a late afternoon walk & a walk to dinner. receiving her latest cd (early! the cd release party is december 9th.). thinking of these words: "being unapologetically me."
• another Skype date with ab. such a treat to be a part of her 365 self-portrait challenge on flickr & to chat about hope*fully/yes*fully seeing her this winter!
• celebrating another friend's great leap into the unknown. it's wonder*full to have partners in the leaping!
• Heidi Swanson's photography.
• sending out 26 notes of gratitude.
• gathering with six other women at our monthly local Mondo Beyondo meet-up. sitting around a candlelit table sipping glasses of water & red wine. enjoying warming-in-every-way soup, salad & bread. "retiring to the living area" & reading to one another (this & more): David Sedaris; Patti Digh; Alice Walker; Edith Wharton; Vicki Forman; and, Shel Silverstein. i heart these gatherings.
• exploring The Pioneer Woman per A.'s recommendation. thank you, A.!
• a harvest meal at our home this saturday evening with at least 10 lovely beams of light. on the menu: turkey, gluten-free orange cornbread stuffing, soup, greens, roasted squash & sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts & gluten-free pumpkin bread.
• my inHERview with Susan Tuttle. read it here.

inHERview: Susan Tuttle

this month's inHERview is with Susan Tuttle. when setting up this inHERview Susan asked if she could respond by offering a photograph as an answer to each question. we both loved the idea & i trust you will, too.

when i think of Susan & her body of work the word mystical comes to mind. i looked up the definition of "mystical" here & found these words resonating with my vision & experience of Susan: "Of, relating to, or stemming from direct communion with [universal life force]." for me, there is an energy in Susan's life & work that connects/re*connects me with something ancient while grounding me in the center of my heart/life. i am grate*full for such a being. thank you for being, dear Susan.

and to you, dear reader, thank you for stopping by. please enjoy these views...

Who are you?

Where can we find you?

What makes home "home" for you?

How do you spend your days?

How do you define your tribe?

What does November mean to you?

What makes your heart sing?

What nourishes you?

What dream are you dreaming?

What are you harvesting?

What words are speaking to you right now?

If you were to "tell the world just one thing" (as Jewel sings) what would that "one thing" be?

the goods: list 27

• The Charter For Compassion. listen & watch here; it is 2:10 in length. you will see the face & hear the voice of a dear interfaith seminary classmate; she appears for the first time at :18. sign the Charter here.
• a friday night birth*day celebration for roomie s. cozying up in the living room, watching a movie, nibblin' on popcorn & sweet spoonfuls of ice cream. tonight the celebration continues with game night!
• a wednesday afternoon & evening visit from a beloved. cups of tea in hand. she sitting on the center of my bed. me sitting on the wing chair. open heart speak & open heart listening. a reiki session for her. a walk to dinner. she treated me to her company & a meal at a local indian restaurant.
• my fam is journeying north for a new england christmas ~ a vision coming into being. they are staying in my home while the roomies travel elsewhere for the holiday. happy, happy me.
• my ticket is purchased. the tradition continues. i will travel south to the home of cherished ones the first weekend of december. we will be making christmas together.
• Pixie's words about owl. owl is one of my primary totems ~ perhaps my primary totem.
• this video by Kate:

Hail to the Good Things from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

these brightFULL & wakeFULL weekend mornings

walking for miles & miles on saturday morning.

taking in the brightness.

of the wide, blue sky.

of changing leaves on trees & the quilt of fallen leaves covering the ground.

of doggie wonders.

of my heart lifting & my face softening.

of people running, cleaning yards ~ knees on earth, biking, pushing strollers & walking with beloveds ~ hands holding hands & cups of coffee.

taking photos.

attempting to capture just a sliver of this.

how it means so much.

the presence of beings & creatures.

how it saves my life.

wide open eyes, fresh air, rosy cheeks, the sound of others' voices, the knowing you are there & feeling connected.

asana, pages of writing & 14 handwritten notes of gratitude on sunday morning.

waking to this practice.

silence.

movement.

Cat Stevens.

pen & paper.

pouring out.

always

i

am

grateful

for

this & you.

the goods: list 26

• Companions for the Journey: A Voice and Story Retreat in NYC hosted by the warm, generous & true Jen Lee. i have been a follower & fan of Jen Lee's work for over a year. i purchased two copies of her Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark cd last december ~ one for me & one for a treasured friend. in the winter i played The Portfolio Project game with Jen. and, this september i had the privilege of not only sharing a cabin with Jen at Squam Art Workshops ~ i also participated in her Story Weaving class. Jen is a gifted, soul*full & play*full being & teacher. if you hunger to speak, to tune your voice, to tell your story & to have that story be heard & held lightly in the light ~ this retreat will be the perfect place for you. register here. Jen has this to say about this retreat:
  There comes a time when you can be silent no longer. When the Self you've been ignoring is clamoring for your attention. When you are ready to stop clinging to what has been, and embrace a future that is calling to you.

  One in which you are seen, known, and still loved.

  You don't have to figure it out alone.

  It's time to find your voice. It's time to tell your story. It's time to have companions for your journey.

  It's time to come.

  February 25-28, 2010

• sunday dinner at home with my roomies + 1. vegetarian chili & gluten-free corn bread made with manchego cheese & scallions. conversations about our work, books, movies, history & herstories. apple crisp for dessert.
• Allowing dreams post by Susannah. i heart thinking of my commitments & dreams as children ~ protecting, nurturing, believing in & encouraging them.
• a thursday day trip to providence to visit with a goddess. a guacamole & chips, tortilla soup & cheesecake lunch; a walk along the river; and, mango tea at the bookstore. when i returned home ~ dinner, play & visiting time with a dear friend & his boy.
• conversations with beloveds about thanks*giving week & christmas*time plans.
• a saturday late afternoon/night date with a gorgeous, smart & silly 1.5 year old. this is what i am looking forward to today.

26 notes of gratitude

in honor of this thanks*giving month & the celebration of thanks*giving on the 26th of november (also big bro's birth*day!) i am committing to write a total of 26 notes of gratitude from now - thanks*giving day. care to join me? feel free to handwrite 'em, paint 'em, post 'em, chalk 'em, tweet 'em...

the goods: list 25

• clean sheets.
• my dear roomie, l.m., returning home after being away for three and a half weeks.
• my first Skype date with one of my fire*side beauties from Squam Art Workshops. awesome to SEE her. there will be more of this ~ much more of this!
• another Mondo Beyondo meet-up with local folks. magazines + scissors + paper + glue stick + the voices of six (five + me) fabulous women = mondo beyondo inspiration!
• halloween treats: receiving the best news ever during a two hour reconnecting conversation with a sister ~ one i have known & grown with for over two decades; a walk in the woods at Walden Pond with another beloved sister ~ receiving the whirling wind, the silence, the smiles, the tears, the being held by the great momma earth; chatting with my parents on the phone in the evening; and, a playful & sweet double feature with my roomie, l.m. ~ Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium & Waitress ~ with freshly baked chocolate chip walnut cookies & cappuccino ice cream.
• creating an altar in honor of bella for The Day of the Dead (El Dia de los Muertos). i am attending a traditional Mexican celebration of remembrance at a local cemetery tomorrow late afternoon/early evening ~ honoring bella, my maternal grandmother & others.
• the beginning of a new month. a favorite month. a harvest month. a thanks*giving month. this month there will be: creation, fulfillment, process, warmth, laughter, gathering, travel, learning, reading, writing & celebration.